


Return and Regret

by FlyYouFools (MK47)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MK47/pseuds/FlyYouFools
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good news: Regina is back from Neverland. Bad news: She realizes she is in love with Emma and can’t do anything about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This damn story attacked once I saw this gif (http://eloquentdrivil.tumblr.com/post/68766921346/this-is-the-moment-regina-realized-she-was-in-love), specifically the first frame. This story begins immediately after Regina tucks Henry in on The Jolly Roger, there is no Pan/Henry body swapping, Henry comes home as Henry. Emma comes home tired and Regina? Well, read on. Thanks as always to the lovely Alaska829Snow, who beta’d this despite the fact she has 1,283 more pressing things to do.

“Land ho!”

Hook’s lusty cry was followed by a chorus of cheers above deck, while Regina sat anxiously in a corner of the Captain’s Quarters watching her sleeping son. She had survived Neverland, defeated Pan, rescued her son and was now about to return home, triumphant, the hero even. _So why do I feel so unhappy?_

The brunette heard footsteps descending into the cabin and looked up to find the reason smiling at her broadly.

Regina Mills realized she was in love with Emma Swan and there was nothing she could do about it. Through long Neverland nights, unable to rest, Regina realized her feelings had been sparked by The Savior’s sacrifice in the mines, once again offering herself up to save Regina’s life.

She accepted she would die that day, she had made her peace and was ready to face whatever the hereafter held when Emma plunged her hands into the magic stream and helped defuse a trigger she knew was impossible to defeat.

She wasn’t quite truthful when Emma asked how the trigger could be shut down. She said it was impossible, but there was one way – true love. But that was ridiculous, her true love was dead and, gods willing, she would be joining him soon. But then Emma combined her inherent, uncontrolled magic with Regina’s, a move that blew them both backwards and left a giant diamond, a saved town and a myriad of questions for Regina. Thank the gods she hadn’t told Emma the truth.

Regina didn’t have time to consider the personal implications of that truth for as soon as trigger was secured, her son was abducted and they were on Hook’s rickety raft sliding into a portal toward Neverland.

She would lay on her thin bedroll nightly, trying to discredit her feelings. The despair she felt when Emma was drowning in the sea approaching the island; the relief when she was hauled back on board, alive. The happy thrill at the sound of a drawn sword and an overprotective Emma threatening Tink outside the cave. Her jealousy at Hook’s ham-handed attempts at wooing the blonde and her anger when she discovered that not only was Baelfire alive, but he was also here, with Emma.

The more she tried to tamp down her feelings, the higher they flared. _Neverland! That’s it!_ she realized with relief on what was to be their last night. The island feeds on emotion, amplifying them to dangerous, mind-bending levels. Regina could see it all around her; everyone in their party was on edge and upset, their emotions in riot, passions were higher, despair subterranean. _Of course, that’s it._ That explanation didn’t address the only-true-love-defuses-the-trigger issue, but Regina wouldn’t quibble. It was the island. End of story.

However, her reassurance was short-lived as she sat in Hook’s cabin, feeling quite melancholy. Her entire world was safe and sound, slumbering five feet away. She should be ecstatic. They were nearly home – worlds away from Neverland – when the former Evil Queen realized that her feelings for The Savior were not only intact, they were stronger.

When Henry awoke with his heart and hugged his mothers, Regina felt a happiness and warmth she had not experienced since the night she and Daniel agreed to elope. It was excitement, a new beginning, a bright future ripe for the taking. She attributed the sensation to Henry’s safe return and loving look, but then she felt the awareness of being watched so intensely it was palpable.

She mustered the courage to meet Emma’s green eyes and found an admiring gaze so naked, intense and adoring she couldn’t hold it and quickly looked down. _She’s grateful about Henry, obviously._

“How’s he doing?”

“Fine,” she smiled softly in return. “He started moving a bit, he’ll probably be up soon.”

“We’re going to need you on deck to, um, land this thing.”

“Of course.” Regina rose from the chair, smoothed her coat and tightened the belt.

“Do you want to wake him? I think he’d want to see this.”

Regina chuckled. “No doubt. We’d get an earful if we let him sleep through it.”

Both mothers half sat on the bed, Emma softly rubbing her son’s leg while Regina ran her fingers through his hair.

“Henry,” she whispered. “We’re going to be home very soon. Do you want to come on deck and watch us land?”

Emma’s chest warmed at the maternal scene. She had never seen this side of Regina before and her heart nearly broke with regret. This was a woman of late nights, early mornings, fevers, baking cookies, soothing hurts and snuggling on the couch. This was Henry’s mother and she had ripped him away selfishly, ignorantly. Never again, she vowed to herself.

The boy slowly opened his eyes, blinking and rubbing. “Yeah, I do,” he yawned, pushing himself up. Now awake, he looked at the two women staring at him devotedly and smiled.

“I love you, moms” he mumbled sleepily, throwing an arm around each woman and pulling them in for a hug.

The pair leaned into their son, tears running down their cheeks. When the group hug broke, each woman looked at the other, embarrassed, wiping their eyes as Henry put on his shoes.

“Let’s go!” he commanded happily, heading for he stairs.

“Moms?” Emma looked at Regina, eyebrows high.

“Quite.”

“We’re going to have to work on that,” she laughed as she followed Regina topside.

XXXX

The Jolly Roger was moored in Storybrooke Harbor once more. As Henry and his mothers disembarked the harsh, pressing question was immediate: Where would the boy go?

The trio reached the dock and stared at each other, all silently wondering what to do.

“Henry, you should stay with your mother,” Emma announced firmly.

Regina and Henry gaped, nonplussed.

“Kid, that apartment is too small and your mom’s place is your home,” she argued quietly, slinging an arm around his shoulder and pulling him away from the crowd. She tilted her head asking Regina to follow. “The first thing I want to do is sleep. The second thing I want to do is find my own place. Your mom and I, we’ll figure out who sleeps where when, but right now, that’s where you should be.”

Henry agreed without argument. “OK.”

“I mean, Regina, if that’s OK with you. Sorry, I should have asked—”

Regina bit back her first reaction, scorching the woman for insinuating she would not want her son to sleep in his home. “Of course, I would love it,” she added serenely. “Emma is right. We’ll determine a schedule later.”

Now Henry looked shocked. “You called her ‘Emma’!” he yelped happily.

Regina smiled as Emma nodded. “Things are better now.”

The women made their goodbyes under the guise of getting Henry home. The act left Snow in charge of the care, feeding and lodging for a dozen Lost Boys, a fairy and other assorted imports from Neverland. _Serves her right,_ Regina thought with a chuckle.

They arrived at 108 Mifflin Street, Henry bounding toward the front door. “Bye, Emma!”

Regina turned toward the blonde in the driver’s seat, hoping to delay the return to normal for one more day. The words left her in an edgy rush: “If you’d like to stay here, you’re more than welcome.” She clutched her hands anxiously, hoping they didn’t betray her nerves.

It was the world’s worst camping trip, yes, but Regina wasn’t ready to be without Emma’s presence, not just yet. As surprising as it was, she realized she welcomed the camaraderie, the presence of another adult in her life – specifically, Emma.

She was tired of being isolated and abandoned, and as painful as it was to have her unrequited love in her presence, it was better than being alone. “I probably won’t sleep much tonight, I fear I’ll be checking on Henry every 10 minutes. I thought you might feel the same. If it would be easier for you to be in the same place as—”

“I’d like that, yeah,” Emma smiled. “Plus, Mary-Margaret probably gave my bed to Wendy or something.” Regina chuckled, that was a certainty. “I’ll go home, use up all the hot water, change, then come back here.”

Emma did just that, returning relaxed, refreshed, starving and bearing two bottles of red.

“I stopped at the store,” she grinned.

“I approve,” Regina teased, raising a playful eyebrow.

Henry requested pizza and allowed Regina to magic one up, given she was too beat for a grocery run. The trio sat in the kitchen, eating, drinking and avoiding dozens of serious questions and answers in favor of taking respite in an everyday familial act.

“I thought you’d eat much more,” Regina observed casually, glancing at Emma’s plate. Henry polished off four pieces, Regina an astounding three, but Emma only two.

“I may have eaten three candy bars on the way over here.”

Henry erupted in laughter, Regina joining in. “You’re nothing if not predictable.”

The effects of a hot shower, clean clothes, food and – in the women’s case, a bottle of wine – soon had all three travelers yawning.

“Bed,” Regina commanded, which sent Henry and Emma up the stairs. She wasn’t sure if the order was directed at her, but Emma didn’t care, she was beat and happy to oblige. The women tucked in their son, then headed for the guest room across from Regina’s.

“Do you need anything?”

Emma eyed the big, soft bed from the doorway. “I’m good. I’m going to bury myself in those 82 throw pillows you’ve got there.”

She turned and gently clasped Regina’s upper arm.

“Thank you,” she started, her voice nearly overcome with emotion. Regina knew the gratitude was for more than the room. “I can’t thank—”

“Then don’t,” she soothed. “You did as much as I. You were every bit The Savior you were born to be. Henry should be proud. I…” she began the sentence wishing she hadn’t, but it was too late to leave it incomplete. “I’m proud of you. You did well.”

Emma dipped her head, awash in emotion and gratitude. “OK, thanks. ’Night.”

“Good night.”

Regina headed back to her bedroom and slipped under the cool, clean sheets, a far cry from the bedroll and unforgiving ground of the past week. She was happy to be home, but overwhelmed at the same time.

Emma had looked so fragile, it was all Regina could do not to gather her in her arms and console her. She would have bet money the blonde would have welcomed it. She could picture it: slowly lowering Emma to the bed and climbing behind her, the big spoon. She would wrap her limbs around the woman’s strong frame, burying her nose in those thick blonde curls. Regina would pull her as close as possible, Emma melting into her arms with a content sigh, their fingers intertwined over her abdomen. They would drift off to sleep, comforted in each other’s warmth, immersed in a peaceful cocoon, the only sound gentle breaths and a stray sigh.

 _No. Stop. This_ can’t _happen_. An embarrassed ache seized Regina’s chest.

Even if she worked up the courage to pursue the woman, she couldn’t. She knew Emma had been emotionally traumatized by Neverland; aside from Henry, no one was more victimized by the experience. Her newfound, paper-thin relationship with her parents had been torn to pieces by the fact they were intent on abandoning her once again if need be. The blonde was also facing unwelcome pressure from her son’s father and a pirate who couldn’t take a hint, finding herself at the apex of a love triangle in which she wanted no part.

There was no way Regina would heap her inexplicable, unexpected desires onto Emma’s already overflowing plate; the poor woman would have a nervous breakdown. So the brunette resolved to simply be present for her son’s biological mother with newfound respect, admiration and support.

 _No_ , she thought drifting off to sleep, _this absolutely cannot happen._

XXXX

Two days after returning, a raucous Welcome Home gathering was held, once again, at the diner.

“We gotta stop meeting like this,” Emma joked to Granny, while Ruby attacked them both in a crushing group hug.

Seemingly the whole town turned out and the pilgrims were welcomed back in a collective embrace - including Regina. Emma was happy the woman even showed up. When she broached the subject, the brunette was about to decline when Emma interrupted with a soft: “This isn’t up for debate.” Shockingly, she didn’t fight the order, simply nodding her head in agreement. Emma did her best to hide her awe.

She kept an eye on the woman throughout the night. Unlike the last party, when Regina sat alone and ignored, this time she tentatively socialized, talking to Archie, Granny, Kathryn and others. Plenty of people still tossed her the evil eye and avoided her like the plague, but if she noticed, she was unperturbed.

Eating and drinking commenced with gusto, interrupted only by a sincere, yet overly sentimental, speech from Snow. Emma decided she wanted to say a few words, too, so she stood on a chair and banged a spoon against her empty mug as soon as her mother finished.

“Excuse me, if I could have your attention for a moment.” The crowd looked at the woman perplexed, she wasn’t one for public speaking.

“This is Regina Mills,” Emma began stern and unsmiling, nodding at the brunette. “She is the _only_ reason any of us returned. She defeated Pan when no one else could – even Gold.” Soft gasps were heard throughout the gathering while Henry beamed. “She used her powers to save us and, most importantly, _our_ son.”

Regina blushed hotly. “If I hear of anyone giving her any trouble, you will have to deal with me,” The Savior threatened. Emma scanned the crowd grabbing each person’s gaze intently, finishing with her parents. “Now,” she smiled, “someone get me a drink.”

Hook lurched forward like a lovesick puppy, “Here you go, lass!” he babbled, pushing a beer in her hand. Emma grabbed the glass in one hand, Regina’s elbow in the other and swiftly brushed past the pirate, pulling the woman into a corner.

“I mean it,” she repeated earnestly. “If anyone gives you shit, you let me know.”

Regina’s blush reignited. “You’re very gallant,” she declared shyly.

“I take care of my family. And you are family.”

Regina dropped her head, turned and slowly walked out of the diner. _This is too much._

Emma was hot on her heels. “Are you OK? Did I upset you?”

Her words and sincerity were steamrolling Regina’s defenses. She wanted to grab the gorgeous woman with the giant heart and never let her go.

“I…it’s not you,” she stammered. “To be honest, this is very overwhelming to me. I’m not used to people defending me, standing up for me, giving me credit. No one has ever happily called me family, except for Henry, and even that was tenuous for the past year.”

Regina looked off into the distance to avoid Emma’s piercing stare. The blonde knew that look, she was that look: feeling small, unworthy, unwanted. She realized she and Regina had much more in common than Henry.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Emma hushed.

“You should go back, I’m sure Baelfire and Hook will be looking for you.” _Dammit, why did I do that?_

“Don’t remind me,” she groaned.

Regina was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I want nothing to do with either of them,” she chuckled. “I will never get over what Neal did to me – destiny or not – and Hook is so smothering and over the top I want to puke. Plus he wears more eyeliner than me. The only man for me is my son.”

Relief washed over the brunette. She wouldn’t go after Emma but at least she wouldn’t lose to her someone so inferior as Baelfire or Hook.

“Will you come back in?”

Regina smiled, feeling lighter. “OK.”

Emma put a protective arm across Regina’s shoulders, guiding her through the door. “Back to your adoring subjects, your Majesty,” she laughed. Regina was too distracted with the warm hand across her back to retort.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad news: This story is complete. Good news: This is the longest chapter I’ve ever written, so there is much to enjoy. Sincere thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows. Huge thanks to Alaska829Snow, who beta’d this monster during finals week.

A mere three months after returning from the most perilous trip of their lives, the unofficial Swan-Mills trio had fallen into an easy domestic routine. Emma returned to police the sleepy town, work that now had much more to do with livestock disputes than she either remembered or desired.

Regina was re-elected as mayor, after Snow’s ringing endorsement. She was grateful Regina wanted the job – no one else did, nor did they have any idea how to run a modern town.

Custody was swapped weekly between the women. Henry’s pick ups and drop offs were shuffled effortlessly between them depending on each mother’s schedule. “Family” dinners were every Wednesday at Regina’s and every Sunday night at whichever mom had him for the coming week.

Dinner at Emma’s consisted of takeout until Regina demanded she cook something, anything. That meant every other Sunday turned into a cooking lesson at Emma’s new apartment, an event to which both women actually looked forward. Regina had acquired a knack for patient instruction and Emma was excited to learn how to cook aside from dialing a phone.

“Look at me, I’m all grown up,” Emma joked, stirring a sauté pan full of chicken and vegetables.

“You’re doing well,” Regina confirmed sincerely. “With cooking…and with Henry.”

The compliment caught the blonde off guard. “Really?”

“Why are you so surprised?” Regina continued chopping vegetables for the salad, happy to be busying herself so she didn’t have to look at her companion. She was constantly worried about her face betraying her feelings against her will.

“I never expected to be good at being a mother,” she noted quietly, grabbing for her beer with her free hand. “I never expected to even be one. I mean, I didn’t have any role models in that department. I never expected to have a family either but, look, here we are.”

Emma referred to the trio as “family” often, and every time it shot a pain straight to Regina’s heart. She wanted nothing more than to develop her relationship with Emma, but the Sheriff had just extricated herself from the world’s most awkward love triangle.

Neal stuck around for six weeks before he was finally convinced he could not con Emma back into his arms. Hook set sail three weeks after that. Even though she wasn’t interested in either man, Regina figured Emma needed space and time. Plus, her tenuous relationship with her parents was slowly repairing itself. And there was one other tiny wrinkle: She wasn’t even sure Emma was attracted to women in the first place.

They had such a good friendship going, Regina loathed the thought of jeopardizing it, feelings be damned. Her time with Emma was incredibly bittersweet. She adored the woman’s company, her personality, wit and love for their son. But the inability to take it to another level was causing a deep longing and ache in her heart. However, if it was a choice between no Emma or Emma with pain, she’d take the latter every time.

Regina was forced to look up, she could feel her friend’s hot gaze. The brunette forced a calm smile and agreed: “Here we are.”

After dinner and a raucous game of Uno, homework-checking and showering, Henry was off to bed. Regina and Emma sat on the couch, splitting a bottle of wine.

“Did you hear Kathryn is engaged?”

“I did. We had lunch Friday, she is thrilled.”

“Good for her, Fred seems like a good guy.”

Regina hummed in agreement, finishing her glass.

“Do you ever think you’d get involved again?” Emma asked over the rim of her glass.

The brunette was happy she finished her wine, that unexpected question surely would have resulted in a spit-take. “The last time didn’t go very well,” she chuckled ruefully.

Emma nodded, unsure if she meant Graham or the King; it didn’t matter, both ended in a similar fashion.

“There is a distinct lack of suitable candidates, I fear,” Regina snickered. “And you keep driving them out of town.”

“Everyone should thank me for that,” Emma concluded, reaching to refill her glass. She motioned to Regina, who nodded. “And those two were hardly ‘suitable.’ But you didn’t answer my question.”

Regina bit her lip, trying to answer carefully. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but there is no man in town to whom I’m attracted. And you?”

“Nope. I’ve had enough of a love life for a while. I don’t need a guy, I’m pretty happy right now. I have Henry, my parents, you. I’m good.”

Regina flushed at the statement.

“You OK?” Emma asked with concern.

“Yes, too much wine, I guess.”

“Or not enough…”

Regina lay in bed that night, tortured with memories of the evening. She was torn, each visit was harder than the last. She couldn’t cut Emma out of her life, they were all so happy with how their unique situation had turned out. Regina affirmed once again, a seemingly daily occurrence, that she would bear the burden of unrequited love in secret.

Tonight’s topic and the wine had her too keyed up to sleep. All she could think about was Emma’s penetrating gaze, the way she snuggled herself into the couch, laying her long, warm legs over Regina’s lap (“Hey, my place, my rules.”); how she smiled, so sincere and open.

The brunette sighed heavily and she slid her hand under the sheets, long fingers trailing gently down her torso, her need overtaking potential embarrassment, her best friend on her mind.

XXXX

Emma had to hand it to Snow, when it came to Regina, her mother ensured the brunette was invited to any and all family gatherings: birthdays, holidays, impromptu dinners and more. The get-togethers were stilted and awkward at first, but the more time the two brunettes spent in each other’s orbit, the easier it got.

It was at such an event, a birthday BBQ for David, that Snow got the shock of her life. Emma gave her father a horseshoe set; the blonde enthusiastically set it up and challenged the man to a game. Emma paired up with Leroy, David with Happy. Quickly, taunts, brags and insults were flying as fast as the shoes. The foursome laughed uproariously as shoes flew and landed with either the dull thud of earth or the victorious clink of a stake.

Snow had originally invited Regina to family events solely at Emma’s request and for Henry’s benefit. The hidden bonus was that Snow could keep an eye on Regina, but she soon disregarded that boon as the brunette was nothing but lovely and helpful every time.

The woman smiled to herself, amazed at her family’s transformation, as she watched Henry gaze at Regina with pure love and affection. He walked up to her smiling and leaned into her affectionately while they watched Emma pitch shoes and goad her father.

Emma tossed a perfect shoe, one that arced beautifully and not only ringed the stake but also knocked off two of David’s shoes, stealing the game. The spectators roared with approval as Emma celebrated her perfect throw, boastingly flexing her arms in victory.

Snow observed her grandson, smiling and laughing as he watched the scene unfold with unabashed love for Emma. Her eyes traveled to Regina, who was sporting the exact same expression. _Oh, gods…_

Snow then realized why her peace with Regina had been so easy: They both loved Henry and _they both loved Emma._ She nearly gasped with shock.

“David!” she hissed, speed walking to his side.

Still laughing over his defeat, he turned and smiled. “Yes, my love?”

“Look at your daughter!”

“She’s hard to miss,” he chuckled, Emma still crowing about her victory. “What am I looking for?”

The man barely got the words out of his mouth when a beaming Regina approached Emma and presented her with a fresh beer. They couldn’t make out what the pair was saying, other than they couldn’t take their eyes off one another or stop grinning. Emma smiled brilliantly and grabbed Regina affectionately on the elbow.

“Oh.”

“I know!”

“How did we miss this?”

“I have no idea,” he replied, stunned, still unable to shut his gaping mouth.

“Has Emma mentioned anything?”

“No. I know they’re together a lot because of Henry but… _oh_.”

“What?”

“They text each other. A lot.” The couple kept staring at the oblivious women, they couldn’t look away.

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Do you think they’re together?”

“Well,” he began, taking a long pull off his beer. “They sure look it. Ask Ruby, she knows everything.”

The prince pecked his wife on the cheek. “I need to sit down for a moment.”

Snow sidled over and sat down next to Ruby, who was making short work of a tall margarita.

“Is anything going on between Emma and Regina?” she whispered.

The brunette snorted and gasped, choking on her latest sip. “Gah! Give me some notice next time, huh?” Snow patted the wolf’s back, while she coughed out the last of her drink and regained her breathing.

“Jesus, Snow,” she sighed. “For the record, not that I know of, officially. But damn it, Emma’s got it bad.”

“How do you know? Did she say anything?”

“No, which is weird. Although if I had the screaming thigh sweats for Regina, I might keep it to myself, too.”

Snow frowned at the turn of phrase. “What? Sorry, but it’s true. She doesn’t have to say anything, every time she looks at Regina she’s got this big, dopey smile on her face. I mean, look at her…”

Ruby subtlety gestured toward the women, now animatedly talking to Kathryn across the yard. Henry’s mothers stood so close to each other, a piece of paper wouldn’t fit between them. Every so often, they’d reach out and touch the other’s hand or arm to make a point. Regina must have made a joke because Kathryn and Emma erupted in laughter, the latter smiling at the brunette so adoringly, Snow’s heart skipped a beat. Regina, for her part, grinned right back.

“We’ve been watching for, what, 45 seconds? And they’ve touched each other three times. They are so fucking dumb!”

“She looks lovesick,” Snow observed in wonder, unable to stop watching. “Does Regina feel the same way?”

“How the hell would I know? Why would she tell me? She still calls me ‘Miss Lucas’ for Christ’s sake.”

Ruby paused and directed her friend’s attention from the couple to herself. “The funny thing is, I don’t think Emma even realizes it. She talks about Regina all the time, but like they’re just friends.” The waitress finished her drink and stood, intent for the makeshift bar.

“I don’t know about you, girl, but I don’t look at my _friends_ that way.”

Later that night, David and Snow reviewed the events of the day while readying for bed. Snow had watched both women surreptitiously for the rest of the afternoon; it didn’t matter if her surveillance was stealth, the pair only had eyes for each other and never would have noticed.

“Did you see Emma pull out a chair for her?” Snow called into the bathroom.

“Nmwrpf”” came the muffled reply, followed by the sound of the tap and spit hitting the sink. The prince emerged, wiping his mouth with a facecloth. “I did see Regina make a plate for her and deliver it to her at the table.”

“What happens if it’s true, if they fall in love and become a couple?”

“I hate to tell you this, but I think they’re already there.”

“But what do we do if they begin a relationship? What if they’re already in one?”

“Nothing. If it happens, it happens.” Charming bent down and cupped his wife’s face reassuringly stroking her cheek with this thumb.

“Are you OK with it?”

David nodded.

“I can’t believe it,” Snow stated in disbelief, “but so am I.”

XXXX

“What’s troubling you?” Regina asked gently, handing Emma what she would later realize was her third gin and tonic. “You can tell me, if it would help.” She smiled softly when the woman returned her gaze, sitting down beside her. “I’m a good listener.”

The blonde had been down all night, quiet and reserved, not at all her normal ebullient self. Regina did her best to draw her out, to no avail. Thank goodness Henry dominated the conversation, as usual.

Emma took a sip of her drink before placing it on the coffee table. She looked at Regina, her brown eyes large and sympathetic.

“I—”

She got no further than the pronoun before tears welled up in her eyes and spilled, her shoulders wracking with sobs. Regina gaped at the instantaneous transformation, her heart breaking over her friend’s obvious pain.

“Ssshhh,” she soothed. “Come here.”

Regina pulled the sobbing woman into her arms, rocking her gently and rubbing her back. “Let it all out.”

She had no idea what “it” was, other than something that was wounding her friend terribly. She felt guilty, luxuriating in the luscious feeling of holding Emma while she was in such pain. But she justified the action in that it seemed to be helping and the blonde was not pulling away.

 _Like mother, like son_. Henry was the same: holding in his hurt and feelings until they could no longer be contained. She chuckled to herself, realizing she comforted him the same way.

Emma’s tears slowed to a few whimpers and hitched breath, prompting Regina to reluctantly pull out of the embrace. “I going to get tissues, I’ll be right back.” When she returned, Emma took them with a grateful smile, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Why?”

“I feel bad, coming over here. Snotting all over you with my problems.”

Regina smiled. “But we’re friends and that’s what friends do, right?”

Emma returned the smile ruefully. “You’re too good to me.”

Regina reached over and gently took her friend's hand. The embrace had made her greedy for the woman’s touch. “Now, what’s bothering you?”

“This is so stupid, please don’t tell anyone.”

“I’m not your mother, you can trust me,” she deadpanned.

“True. Anyway, funny you mentioned her. Mary-Margaret's pregnant.”

“Well,” Regina started, surprised and yet not at the same time. “That’s…lovely.”

“It is, I know. And I should be happy for them. But it dredged up a lot of hurt feelings from Neverland, which brought up a whole lot of other Neverland stuff. I feel like I have PTSD or something.”

She exhaled heavily, happy to have the emotional burden off her chest. Her anxiety began to burn off, as she relaxed under Regina’s calming influence, the brunette’s thumb stroking her hand lazily.

“Hmmm,” she hummed, sleepily. “That feels nice, thanks.” Emma suddenly had the urge to lay her head in her friend’s lap. She began to do so, stopping to realize she should ask permission first. “Can I lay down?”

Regina’s chest tightened with affection. The blonde was so heartbreakingly vulnerable and exposed. “Of course.”

The Savior lay down, thick blonde curls spilling over the brunette’s lap, contrasting sharply against her black dress pants. Without thinking, Regina automatically began running her fingers through Emma’s shock of hair, rubbing her head rhythmically.

“Uhhhh, that feels so good,” she sighed. “What’s that buzzing?”

“A little magic, I thought it might feel good. Is it OK?”

“Don’t stop,” she sighed, peacefully, enjoying the vibrations on her scalp.

“Have you talked to Archie about the island?”

“Not in months, I should go back. I thought I had a handle on it, you know?”

“I do.” Regina had been seeing the therapist weekly since they returned. “It helps.”

“I’ll call him tomorrow.”

Once again, Regina felt like she was taking advantage of the blonde’s state to indulge herself, but she did regardless. She couldn’t help but wind her fingers through that rich, thick hair.

“Are you happy for your parents?”

“I am,” she lamented through closed eyes. “But it’s hard to fight those old feelings of being replaced, not good enough…cast away.”

Regina reluctantly stopped stroking Emma’s hair to make a point. “You _are_ good enough, Emma Swan. Please know that.”

She opened one eye to protest the lack of a head rub. “What?”

“Answer me. You are good enough. Do you understand?”

Emma shrugged. “I guess.”

“Sit up.”

“Hey!” Emma whined rising up off an elbow. “Keep petting me.”

“I will when you acknowledge that you are enough.”

Regina met her curious gaze confidently and grabbed both of her hands.

“You are smart. You are an excellent sheriff. An outstanding mother. A kind person. My…closest friend - and I have exceedingly high standards,” she joked, trying to lighten what had become a rather serious mood. “You should be honored.”

Regina squeezed Emma’s hands in reassurance. “Do you understand this? I need you to understand this.”

Emma was stunned. She thought she was just letting Regina in on a simple pity party only to find the woman critically affronted by her lack of self-esteem. _Regina really does care about me._

Emma blinked. “I understand,” she whispered swallowing thickly. “No one’s ever told me anything like that before. Thanks.”

The blonde felt emotion well up inside her and leaned forward, hugging her friend firmly, tucking her head into Regina’s shoulder. Regina closed her eyes, sighed and tried to savor every second of the embrace.

“OK? Please continue soothing me with your magic fingers,” Emma mock ordered, laying down once more and closing her eyes.

“Your wish is my command, princess.”

“Shut up,” she smiled.

XXXX

Regina resisted the urge to run through the corridors of Storybrooke Academy, rounding the corner to the main office, a litany of panic-fueled motherly nightmare scenarios bombarding her mind.

“Emma!” she called desperately, spying the blonde waiting outside.

“He’s fine,” she soothed. “He’s OK. Relax.”

Regina raised an eyebrow, willing her breathing back to normal. “You know I don’t ‘relax’ well,” she quipped.

Emma snorted as they walked into the office to discover Henry had punched a classmate at recess.

“Violence is never the answer!” Regina lectured, eyes full of disappointment. Emma bit back a snicker at the formerly evil pot calling her young kettle black. “What were you thinking?”

Henry looked at the principal, then his parents with hurt eyes. “He said mean things about you guys.”

Emma narrowed her eyes. “What things?”

The principal cleared her throat. “Henry has already explained his reasons to me. I’ll let him fill you in, open the door when you’re done.” The woman left quickly, shutting the door behind her.

“What did he say, Henry?” Regina asked, filled with worry.

“He said…he said you guys were together.”

“Well, of course we’re together,” the brunette scoffed, looking at Emma then back at their son. “That’s it?”

Henry fidgeted in his seat, unhappy with the prospect of further explanation. His wide eyes pleaded with Emma for help.

“Regina, I think he means the kid thought you and I are a couple. Together together.” Emma raised her eyebrows for emphasis. “Is that right, Hen?”

The boy nodded, anxious to never speak again.

“Oh,” she replied confused, then realization sank in. “ _Oh_. Oh, we’re _not_. We’re not romantically involved.”

“Jeez, Regina, you’re kinda quick on the denial there, am I that bad a catch?” Emma joked.

If you only knew. Regina arched in eyebrow in silent reply.

Emma pressed on. “So he said we were gay and you punched him?”

“He said you were…dykes,” the boy winced at the hateful term, “and then I punched him.”

“Well, he deserved it, little asshole.”

“Emma!”

“Sorry,” she shrugged, then turned to their son. “But your mom’s right. You shouldn’t have hit him. It really won’t solve anything. But, Hen, I’m curious, if we were, how would you feel?”

Emma couldn’t be sure whose eyes were wider, Henry’s or Regina’s. The brunette opened her mouth to speak, but Emma held up a hand forestalling a statement. Regina couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a tiny flame of hope flickered in her chest.

The boy squinted in a mixture of thought and confusion. “As long as you’re happy, I don’t care if you hook up with Leroy.”

Emma burst out laughing, deflating the tension in the room like a popped balloon. “Well, let’s not go nuts. But if your mom and I were a couple, or if we dated other women, you’d be OK with it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Emma smiled to herself, catching Regina’s very confused look. “What? I want to make sure we’re not raising a homophobe.” She turned to Henry with a grin. “But we’re not a couple, just close friends.”

Regina issued a tight smile and a brisk nod as her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

XXXX

“So, what’s it feel like to be 57 weeks pregnant?” Emma joked as placed two rolls of wallpaper border in the crib.

“You’re a terrible daughter,” Snow smiled.

“Don’t piss me off, you’re going to want a sitter soon. I better be high on your list.”

Snow raised an eyebrow.

“What, I’m not? I’ve got Regina and she knows what she’s doing. That should bump me up a few spots.”

_I bet you’ve got Regina._

Snow was 38 weeks along, now in the golden window of time to which every pregnant woman looks forward: The baby could come any day now. It would be a double blessing: She would meet her new child and be put out of her physical misery. She asked Emma to help her put the finishing touches on Baby Charming’s room as she’d soon have no time, desire or energy for interior decorating.

Over the past nine months, Emma had made her peace with her impending sibling, as well as her parents. It still stung here and there, catching her off guard at unexpected moments. But she found talking through it with Regina very helpful. Regina, she realized, made everything better.

_“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” the blonde smiled one night after Regina swooped in to save Henry – and Emma - from a geography paper._

_“We make a good team.” Regina smiled softly in return, hoping her expression was warm and didn’t betray her ongoing heartbreak._

“Seriously, when are you gonna pop that kid out?”

“That kid is your brother or sister.”

“Yeah, well, I know I’m still your favorite because I wasn’t late. Was I?”

Snow remembered wistfully. “You were right on time.”

“Ha! Go me.”

Emma opened a roll of border and moved toward the wall. Snow followed suit in a waddle; pregnancy had not been kind to her petite frame.

“Were you, like, square when you were pregnant with me, too?” the blonde teased.

Snow slapped her daughter’s arm playfully. “Stop it. For your information, no, I was not this big. I blame the curse.”

“Oh, sure,” she snorted. “Blame Regina.”

 _There she is again. How could Emma be so blind?_ Snow couldn’t think of a conversation she’d had with her daughter in which the brunette didn’t make an appearance.

“I could see her building that into the curse: _If Snow becomes pregnant, make her as big as a house!_ ” Emma bellowed, cracking herself up.

“You’re a horrible child,” Snow proclaimed, sticking out her tongue.

It wasn’t perfect but the Savior’s relationship with her parents had progressed to such an extent that they could even joke about the curse without hurt feelings or regret.

Emma held the border in position, double-checking before she peeled off the backing.

“This good?”

Snow stepped back to see if it was level.

“Good.”

“Duckies?” Emma snorted with a hint of derision. “Really?”

“They work for a girl or a boy.” Emma held the border to the wall and peeled away the backing while Snow guided it, smoothing out air bubbles and keeping it straight.

“Do you think you’d ever have another baby?”

Emma stopped and stared at her mother. “Uh, can we go back to the duckie discussion? Jesus. If you haven’t noticed, I’m missing one very important thing, _Mom_. You know, we never did have ‘the talk,’” she noted, concentrating on the border. “Want to go for it now? Fill in the gaps?”

A wry grin graced Snow’s face. “You’re quite fresh today, what on earth did Granny put in your pancakes this morning?”

The pair finished one wall, leaving Emma to navigate the corner.

“Hold on a sec.” Emma bit her lip as she guided the border around the bend. “No Granny’s, ate at Regina’s. This OK?”

Snow laughed out loud. This was ridiculous. She was incredibly tempted to clue her daughter in, but refrained. She didn’t want to lose another infant to Regina’s wrath.

“It’s good.”

The border began taking its place on the second wall, ducks lining up in a row as the women slowly stuck, smoothed and walked to the next corner.

“We had a few too many drinks after Henry went to bed and I was too lit to drive. It was worth it, she makes the best pancakes.” Snow snuck a peek at her daughter to find her bearing what Ruby termed Emma’s “dumbass in love” face.

“Where do you sleep?” Snow hoped her question sounded light and almost disinterested.

“Guest room, she’s got two. I leave clothes over there, makes it easy if I crash. Henry calls it ‘my’ room, heh.”

Snow watched her daughter, even talking about Regina and their son had her smiling broadly. _Dumbass in love, indeed._

“So, you didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, yeah, if I was in a relationship and we wanted to, I’d do it again. I’m not dying to get pregnant, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Oh, no. I just…I just want to see you happy.”

“I _am_ happy.”

“I know,” Snow cooed. “I just…I just love your father so much. He’s my best friend.” Snow stopped as they turned another corner. “When I’m not with him, I can’t wait to be with him again. I wonder what he’s doing, how he’s feeling, when I’ll see him again. He’s so…effortless to love. I see him and I can’t help but smile.”

“That _is_ true.”

“I know that sounds sappy…”

“No, that sounds amazing. I’d like that, yeah.”

“I want someone like that for you.”

The women were on a roll. The last long wall was done, just leaving a few strips leading up to, then on the other side of, the doorway.

Emma looked at her mother, hope in her eyes, as she began cutting the border to complete the room. “Maybe someday, huh?”

Snow smiled back. “Someday.”

XXXX

Once the border was done, Snow had furniture-moving on Emma’s agenda, which caused her to reluctantly miss dinner at Regina’s.

**Snow needs me. Have to miss dinner. Sorry.**

_So am I. This veal piccata is excellent._

**Dammit! Would rather be with you than moving furniture around this tiny room.**

_Is that supposed to be a compliment for me or my culinary prowess? Who wouldn’t rather do anything than move furniture?_

**Critiquing my compliments now? And it was intended for you, Your Majesty.**

_Put down your phone and finish up. I would like to see you sometime this week._

**Yes, Your Worshipfulness.**

_Phone down!_

By the end of the evening, the room looked great, only missing one thing – the baby. Emma took her leave and headed home, soon finding herself at an intersection she drove at least twice a day. A right would take her home, a left to Mifflin Street.

She sighed and pushed the blinker up. It was 9 pm, she was beat and Henry would already be in bed. If she arrived now, she’d keep Regina up late, catching up on the day and drinking wine, their favorite nighttime routine. She knew the woman had meetings in the morning, but would happily welcome her in, pour glass after glass and enjoy her company far past when she should. She decided to make it easier on her friend and go home, a twinge of regret skittering through her chest as she realized she wouldn’t see the brunette today.

Emma arrived at her apartment, took off her boots and headed directly to the fridge – she was starving. She poked around the shelves trying to locate leftovers Regina sent her home with a day earlier. _I know they’re in here somewhere…score!_ It wasn’t veal piccata hot out of the pan, but it would do. She grabbed a beer, placed her food on the coffee table and grabbed the remote, turning on the Sox game.

She felt a little naughty, knowing Regina would have a conniption if she ever tried to eat at the coffee table in her presence. Then she laughed at herself for the momentary anxiety. _This is_ my _apartment! Jesus._

She checked her phone – no texts – and shoveled in another forkful of chicken vindaloo as Big Papi banged one over the short porch in right. Sox up, 5-0. _Yay_.

Taking a pull off her beer, Emma reflected on her night’s work. Prepping the baby’s room made it all seem so real. It was - she knew Snow wasn’t stuffing a pillow under her shirt - but the visit made her remember how odd pregnancy was, how everything could seem just like it always was and then, suddenly, it all could change on a dime and your life would never be the same.

Emma remembered finding out she was pregnant from the prison doctor. She didn’t feel very different, it all seemed so abstract. There was some puking and discomfort, but she’d had worse in her time. Everything seemed the same as it ever was until about 16 weeks in. One day, out of the blue, reality landed hard when she finally realized a human was growing in her belly. Shit got real, real fast.

The Sox rolled on in the background as Emma finished her dinner, drained her beer and laid her lanky frame across the length of the couch. Her thoughts landed on Snow’s melancholy discourse on her need for a soulmate. She looked at Emma with such naked yearning, it startled the blonde.

 _I’m not lonely_ , she maintained, checking her phone once more, then tossing it on the coffee table.

“Pffft,” Emma scoffed out loud to the empty apartment. “I’m not lonely. I don’t need a man, I have Henry and Regina.” Emma closed her eyes, only to have them shoot open a milliseond later.

_Holy. Fuck._

Emma gasped and sat up with a shot, emotions and realizations bombarding her nervous system. She held them all at bay, trying to sort out the scramble of thoughts in her head. Placing two shaking arms on the couch, she attempted to steady herself and her breathing; she realized she was about 10 seconds from hyperventilating.

Every neuron seemed to fire at once as one thought rose above the din: _Jesus Christ. I love her._

It was like she was looking through a camera and suddenly pressed the shutter button, everything instantly pulling into crisp, tight focus. All the memories of the past year, all her time with Regina seemed to hurtle back at once. Her new realization in place, she could suddenly translate all of their interactions.

_Oh, my God, she loves me, too._

Emma forced herself to take slow, deep breaths to calm the pounding head rush. She looked at the cable box: 9:46. Before she could think twice, she vaulted off the couch, pulled on her boots and grabbed her keys, slamming the door. This could not wait another minute.

XXXX

Regina was in her study, making the most of her regretfully Emma-free time to catch up on paperwork. She heard a sharp rap on the door and jumped, eyeing the mantle clock with confusion and rushing to the foyer. She glanced through the peephole to find a very agitated Emma. The woman looked so shell-shocked, if she didn’t know their son was sleeping soundly upstairs, Regina would have thought something horrible happened.

“Hi,” Emma breathed, looking wild eyed, petrified and excited all at the same time.

Regina rushed forward, riddled with concern. “What’s wrong?”

Emma’s chest heaved, her breath coming short and fast. An astonished whisper escaped: “You love me.”

It wasn’t a question. Regina’s eyes grew impossibly wide in shock, her face immediately colored, which she then dipped out of embarrassment. Tears welled in big brown eyes; she wasn’t sure if Emma was in favor of her new realization or demanding an explanation.

“How long?” Emma willed her voice to remain quiet and calm, she was worried the skittish woman would either bolt or pass out.

“I….”

Emma gently placed an index finger under the former queen’s chin and lifted her head. “How long?”

Regina exhaled shakily. “Since Neverland.”

The blonde reared back a bit, stunned by the admission, a hand covering her mouth in shock.

“Fuck, that was, like, over a year ago.”

Regina nodded, looking very small and broken. Her last defense had been breached, she broke down in tears, once again dropping her head and hiding her face. Her secret revealed, surely she would lose her best friend and any prospect of a relationship. The latter was a pipe dream at best, but at least it was hers.

“Regina…”

The brunette refused to look up.

“ _Regina_ ,” she implored once more.

Again unsuccessful, Emma crossed the threshold and dropped to her knees. She leaned her forehead against Regina’s abdomen and firmly placed her hands on the brunette’s hips, her voice soft and gentle, yet resolute. “I love you, too.”

Regina gasped; Emma could feel her body jolt at the statement. She looked up to find her former nemesis staring down, incredulous, stray tears landing on her shirt until she reached up and gently wiped the moisture away with her thumbs. Catching her gaze and holding it, she repeated: “I love you, too.”

Overcome, Regina turned her head away, a sob escaping her lips. Emma removed her hands from Regina’s hips, grabbing her hands to anchor her and stood. The possibility of the petite woman passing out seemed to grow by the second.

“Hey,” she soothed, gathering the brunette in her arms, “why didn’t you say anything?”

Her embrace tight and strong, Emma could feel Regina trying to regulate hitching breaths.

“We’d been getting along so well, we’d become such good friends, I couldn’t risk it,” she cried into Emma’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Emma laughed at the typically Regina reaction. “I just figured it out!” she chuckled. “Like, 15 minutes ago. I ran over here the minute I realized because…”

Emma pulled Regina from their clasp, held her shoulders and gazed into her eyes. “…I don’t want to miss another second.”

Emma dropped one hand to Regina’s hip and wound another through sleek black hair pulling her in for a thorough, demanding kiss.

Regina sighed and felt Emma smile against her lips. Regina kissed the blonde like she had gone three days in the desert without a drink and Emma was a cool pitcher of water. She couldn’t stop, nearly overpowering the woman with her desire to simply consume her. The air filled with throaty moans and breathy sighs, Regina overwhelmed by sensation and emotion.

For her part, Emma gave as good as she got. Now that she was in, she was all in.

“I can’t stop kissing you,” Emma confessed. It took a while to get the statement out, she hated removing her lips from Regina’s olive skin to form words.

“Then don’t.”

XXXX

It was past midnight and the women were tucked under Regina’s luxurious sheets, staring at each other and smiling like idiots.

“I’m exhausted,” Emma muttered, reaching over to tuck a disobedient strand of hair behind Regina’s ear. “I’m not sneaking out of this room tomorrow. If the kid finds me here, we tell him. If not, we tell him at breakfast. I’m not sneaking around.”

“I don’t want that, either.”

Emma grabbed Regina’s hand and kissed her knuckles. She could not stop touching the woman; it was like expecting a burst dam to stop flowing. “Good, I think he’ll be down with us.”

Regina chuckled. “He has no choice.”

“Damn straight. I’m not going anywhere.”

Emma rolled onto her side, prompting Regina to gather the blonde in her arms and intertwine their slick limbs. She buried her nose in Emma’s lush blonde curls, closed her eyes and smiled. Her heart as free and light as she had ever felt it, Regina tightened her embrace and squeezed.

“I know.”

**The End**


End file.
